One year ago today Megan Stuart was waiting anxiously for her results at the CLRG All Ireland Championships in Killarney, county Kerry. As the results got down to the top 15, then the top 10, and finally the top five, Megan was convinced there was an error. “I was shocked. I was very confident they had just missed my number, or I had missed my number,” she says. As Megan watched the results roll out in disbelief, she realised she had in actual fact won the All Ireland title. “Once it came out as ‘First Place: Megan Stewart’, I was like ‘Oh, this is real, this is happening.’” Once it sunk in that she had won, she was met with “unimaginable happiness” in achieving a lifelong goal.
When Megan stood elated on top of the podium that day, she couldn’t have imagined what the next dance year would entail. Not only would the World Championships be cancelled, but the Irish dance world would effectively shut down for the next year with all other major competitions being cancelled, including this year’s All Irelands. The Covid-19 pandemic has challenged dancers around the world in a way they have never experienced before. It has tested dancers mentally and required more resilience than even the toughest of classes ever needed.
16-year-old Megan from Minneapolis, Minnesota, is one of the fortunate dancers that has managed to return her dance school Corda Mor’s classes. She was even able to dance her qualifiers at the Mid America Oireachtas where she won her sixth championship title. But missing out on the World Championships that could have been her best ever result was particularly difficult after investing so many hours of work in preparation. “I was very, very heartbroken to say the least,” she says. “The All Ireland’s was a dream of a competition and was such a reaffirming result and fantastic dance day. I was feeling really confident in my dancing and just so looking forward to getting a chance to step on stage.” She adds that knowing there was a possibility of a top five result, with her personal best so far being 10th in 2018, and to not have the chance to compete was truly disappointing.
While the disappointment of missing out on the biggest event in the dance calendar is something many dancers are still feeling, Megan’s best ever dance result was a real turning point in her competitive career that makes for a promising few years ahead once things finally return to normal. “You don’t really ever forget the disappointment of a bad result,” Megan explains. “So you’re aware of that feeling, and you want to avoid it as much as possible.” The innate desire to improve meant that Megan experienced a significant “mental shift” at the end of 2019 that reframed her “whole dancing mindset”. She explains that getting hung up on results rather than enjoying competing and dancing was taking away something from her performances. “I realised I am the only one who has the power to find the love for dancing again, no one can do it for me,” she says.
From that moment, Megan did everything she could to make sure her focus was about her love of dancing. This new outlook on dancing was evident in her All Ireland’s performance where she was able to achieve the ultimate athletic goal of performing wholeheartedly in the moment. “I get super into the music and try to embrace that when I dance…it makes me so happy to just be on stage…And I know that at least if I’ve done the work preparing for the competition, I can just enjoy that aspect of it and enjoy performing. And that’s all I try and do when I dance.” This is what allowed Megan to “break through the surface” of this new found potential and dance with a renewed sense of confidence going into 202
Despite experiencing some setbacks, Megan has always been committed to the competitive scene, even travelling to non-majors in England like the City of Birmingham Championships. She explains that studying at a distance school allows her a great degree of flexibility where she can take some time off to travel to a competition. But she explains that it “actually comes down to the support of my family.” She adds: “Every member of my family really makes a sacrifice so that I can dance…they truly believe in my dreams as much as I do.”
But despite being the image of success, Megan admits that she struggles with motivation some days. “I definitely portray a very motivated sense on my Instagram, but I’m a normal person. I have days where I really don’t want to practice. I don’t want to get up and do a stamina drill but I try to hold myself accountable,” she explains. She adds that the excitement of finishing alone is enough to motivate her most days, but if not, she reminds herself that “at some point, we’ll hopefully be back to an All Irelands or Worlds, and I want to come out dancing my best, showing off all the work I’ve done.” She is also honest about previously losing sight of what matters most. “I’ve just learned that to me at least, the greatest thing I can do for myself…is to just learn to love and enjoy dancing first and then make other goals and placement goals.”
As much as the dance world is trying to adapt, Megan misses the old days of competitions: seeing friends, dancing together and meeting new people. “I truly love nothing more than connecting with people who equally love dance and just enjoy being there,” she says. “You can do that virtually, but there’s no replacement for the real thing.” Nevertheless, she feels now is the best time for others to look inwards and dig deep to rediscover the motivation that may be lacking. “As much as you can, realise that no matter how long your string of hardship has been going on, there will be change at some point,” she says. “Sometimes taking action is necessary of shifting your mindset, whether that’s totally getting rid of placement goals as a whole or just finding ways in which you love dance…exploring what dancing means to you and embracing that rather than what you want dancing to be.”
If any good has come out of this competitive break that dancers across the world have been forced to comply with, it’s that hopefully others will be able to reconnect with their basic love of dancing while competition is out of the question. “That’s been the best gift ever, to finally know that I love dancing for performing and the music and for sharing that connection with people,” Megan says of her own journey. “Finding that myself has been just the best advice I can give. Just look inwards, it takes a lot of reflection, but it’s definitely worth it.”
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