When my flight touched down in Boston late in the afternoon of July 10, 2022, I couldn’t wait to get started at the Riverdance Summer School, a dream of mine that had been two years in the making.

I was first accepted in the spring of 2020, due to take place July of that year, but it was cancelled due to the Covid-19 pandemic. As we tentatively crawled our way out of the darkness to come out on the other side, I still held onto my dream of attending the summer school once it returned. This year was the first time Riverdance had hosted the programme since they had to go online; I knew it was going to be special, but I didn’t realise just how much this week would mean to me.

I was collected from the airport by Padraic Moyles, Associate Director of Riverdance, and Anna Mai Fitzpatrick, a principal dancer in the show. I looked out the window in the car, joined by three dancers from Canada, and marvelled at the beautiful Boston cityscape during golden hour, the place that would be my home for the next week. I felt like I had finally arrived somewhere that had been waiting for me for two years. 

But I couldn’t ignore the small knot forming in the pit of my stomach. As a 22-year-old dancer who had been retired from competition for the past five years, I felt insecure in a younger, fresher crowd. Was I going to be the oldest one? How was I going to fit in? Would my passion for Irish dance be enough?

Finding My Feet

On the way to breakfast on day one, I chatted with other dancers from my residence hall who turned out to be close to my age. Some were also retired from competition, and some had never competed at all. I felt so relieved at the instant camaraderie. Over scrambled eggs and potatoes we all joked about each of us healing our inner child that didn’t get to go to summer camp. I smiled inside and out, reassured that I wasn’t alone. 

After breakfast we all made the trek to the Boston University Fitness and Recreation Center where we were greeted by Padraic and our team of instructors: Anna Mai Fitzpatrick, Andy O’Reilly, Maggie Darlington, Michael Gardiner, Morgan Bullock, and Emily McFadden. In fact, Michael, Morgan, and Emily were all alumni of the summer school program. I could sense that all of us dancers felt a little starstruck to be sharing the dance floor with such inspiring talent, to be learning from the very same leads and troupe members that we have seen grace the stage in our favourite Irish dance show.

Before setting off on introductions and icebreakers, Padraic gave some opening remarks. He didn’t shy away from the fact that we may feel frustrated and overwhelmed throughout the week. Nevertheless, he wholeheartedly believed that we were all the lucky ones for getting the chance to be nervous while doing something we love. If we didn’t give up on the instructors, they wouldn’t give up on us. 

After a fun warm-up and stretch session, we spent the rest of the day learning ‘Heartland’, the show’s finale number. I was already familiar with the choreography from participating in two previous sessions of the virtual summer school, but this time I could focus on adding in stage blocking and performative aspects. Anna Mai and Michael led us through emotion walks and how to set different intentions for each routine – the very same exercises that the cast members do while on tour.

Towards the end of the day, I admit that I felt nervous about my stamina, but I took comfort in the fact that it could only get better from there. I also leaned on my fellow dancers for support. Any lingering anxieties I had about age differences quickly melted away, as we all quickly bonded in our shared studio space.

As I lay in bed that night, my body was exhausted but my mind was wide awake. It was finally sinking in that I was getting to eat, sleep, and breathe what I love most in the world for an entire week. I really was lucky, like Padraic had said. It was going to be hard, but I was already the happiest that I had been in a long time.

Seek Passion and Joy; Find Love

Tuesday felt like a whirlwind; we got a glimpse into the life of a professional dancer, as the day was split between learning more choreography and taking part in a photoshoot. During our morning dance session, we learned ‘Riverdance’, the iconic closing routine of the first act of the show, as well as the first half of ‘Reel Around the Sun’, the powerful opening number. 

At the end of the day, we gathered around for Michael to give an instructor talk. This was one of the highlights of my week. I’ve been lucky to talk to him before when I interviewed him and his brother, Matthew, for The Irish Dance Globe’s March 2022 cover story, and he was just as articulate and thoughtful this time around. Michael opened with one of his favourite quotes from Roger Federer: “There’s no way around hard work; just embrace it.” 

He spoke candidly about his struggles with bullying, height issues, and other setbacks that he overcame throughout his dance journey. He also shared how he balanced his dance endeavours with his academic and professional pursuits in architecture, and how it made him stronger, which I admire him greatly for. 

Towards the end of the talk, Michael stressed the significance of finding something that guides you through life. He described this in such a beautiful way that I’ll truly never forget: seek passion and joy; find love.

Embracing My Best Self

By Wednesday, we had officially reached the mid-week hump. I knew I was not alone under the pressure of information overload. Michael played us a guided breathing video using the Wim Hof technique, something that the cast members do on tour to help them re-centre and realign.

We then began to recap ‘Heartland’, ‘Riverdance’, and the first half of ‘Reel Around the Sun’. Later, we learned the second half of ‘Reel Around the Sun’ as well as the light shoe portion of ‘Countess Cathleen’. With the showcase looming at the end of the week, and still so much work to be done, I grappled with the imposter syndrome lurking in the back of my mind. Could I do this? And, as I was using this week as an audition to the show, was I the type of dancer they were looking for? 

As I sat in my friends’ room across the hall that night, we decompressed from the day by talking about the show, and everyone was worried about what numbers they would be cast in. Ultimately, I decided to roll with the punches and have fun no matter what. Enjoying the process, as Michael described, involved acknowledging weaknesses while celebrating what I do well. That’s when the true growth would happen, and that’s what this week was all about.

The minute I stopped worrying about trying to be the dancer I thought I had to be was the minute that I became my original, best self. 

A Part of Something Bigger Than Myself

This renewed drive and sense of purpose carried me through the rest of the week. On Thursday, the girls in each group learned all of Anna Livia and also put the finishing touches on the light portion of ‘Countess Cathleen’.

However, the moment that everyone was waiting for came after lunch. The names and rotation groups for the showcase were announced. Everyone was put into two to three numbers to keep the distribution of stage time balanced. When I heard my name called to dance in the second half of ‘Reel Around the Sun’, I channelled my nerves into empowerment. It’s such an important number that sets the tone for the entire show, but I was up for the challenge. I was also thrilled at the opportunity to dance with the lead on stage.

After a couple hours of rehearsals and rotations, we got together once more for an evening movie and Q&A panel with the instructors. It was a short film about the 25^th anniversary of Riverdance, recounting the history and living legacy of the show.

In the Q&A, the instructors talked about the camaraderie between cast members in the show (their palpable connection with one another is hard to miss), shared their most embarrassing on-stage stories, and imparted advice for success in Riverdance and the professional Irish dance world in general. Maggie described how she and the other cast members don’t take anything for granted, especially being able to perform and do something for a living that makes you and others feel so good.

Anna Mai said in each performance you should embody the feeling of what Riverdance means to you. Andy emphasized the importance of learning to go wrong and owning your mistakes. Morgan and Michael both focused on positive self-talk with affirmations to create a confident mindset. 

I looked around the lecture hall, from my fellow dancers sitting shoulder to shoulder to the instructors smiling out at us. Riverdance was the common thread that tethered us to our community and to each other, even when the world felt like it was unravelling. Music and movement, as well as culture and trend, had quilted together to form a unique texture that has withstood the test of time and transcended borders. It was all about bringing these small things together in the image of something larger and greater. Watching Riverdance makes people feel important and interconnected, from onstage to the audience.

As we walked back to our residence halls that evening, I looked up at the starry Boston sky and thought about what Anna Mai said about embodying the feeling of what Riverdance means to me. I thought of how much I wanted to be a part of that tight-knit family and make my own mark on the world through Irish dance. Riverdance reminds me of who I am and who I hope to be. That’s what I affirmed to bring to the showcase stage on Saturday.

Preparing for Show Day

On Friday morning, we all received our remaining cast assignments, and my rotation was selected to perform ‘Riverdance’ in the showcase. Growing up, this routine had always been one of my absolute favourites in the show. The music weaves such a dynamic narrative, from the female lead’s slip jig solo to the explosion of energy when the troupe dancers invade the stage. I couldn’t wait to be a part of the iconic Riverdance line.

During tech rehearsals, I was captivated watching the instructors in their element. Andy is such a brilliant and creative director; he knows the show inside and out. And it was an honour to watch Anna Mai, Maggie, and Michael perform the lead numbers – their dancing is truly unreal.

Eventually, they turned us loose at around 6:30pm, and we hustled to the dining hall before it closed. As my friends and I reclined in our chairs, we all exchanged the same sleepy grins across the table. We were incredibly excited for the showcase, but we couldn’t believe that the end of the programme was already here. We weren’t ready to say goodbye to each other, or to the world of Riverdance. 

New Clarity, Purpose, and Dreams

The morning of the showcase, following a 5:30am wake-up call, we ran through one last round of rehearsals, donned our black attire, and fussed with our hair and makeup in the waiting room. Everyone was simply buzzing. Michael and Anna Mai led us through a warm-up while engaging us in reflection. They reminded us why we were all there, and I thought about what Padraic said on our very first day. I was beyond grateful for every last nerve and neuron that was firing off in my muscles and in my mind. 

At 11:00am sharp, the first notes of ‘Reel Around the Sun’ started to play, and it felt like lightning had struck. Before I knew it, I was lining up with my partner for the second half of the number. Michael came down the stage to collect us, and suddenly I felt like I was flying. I had to remind myself of the fierce, determined intention behind the dance so that I would maintain my face, but underneath I was beaming from ear to ear. After that I had a moment to breathe before being called back for ‘Riverdance’. I wish I could have watched the entire showcase, but I could feel how electrifying the performance was, even from the side room. When it was finally time to go back on stage, I was so glad that I could let loose and stay all smiles for that number. 

That performance was one of the greatest thrills I had ever experienced. At that moment, I knew what I wanted to do with my life – to dance with Riverdance. I had never felt so certain of anything. I’m not sure when it will happen, but I know that it’s right because I can feel it in my soul.

After the showcase, I hopped in an Uber to the airport. Walking onto the plane back to Washington, D.C. felt so surreal. Only the sticky aftershocks of hairspray and the familiar tunes trapped in the back of my head reminded me that it all really did happen – that it all wasn’t just a crazy dream. I returned home with sore legs, but a full heart. Well, maybe not entirely full. Part of my heart belongs to Boston, to Riverdance, and to the dreams I’m still chasing.